Would you like to save $300,000 dollars?
There is a new watch out
there, a $300,000 one at that, which doesn’t actually tell you the time, but
rather if it is day or night. Holy shit nuggets batman, that’s innovation right
there! I’ve been getting really pissed off at not being able to tell if it’s
night or day. I walk in a park and I can’t tell if it’s day time, so I run into
poles and trees just in case it’s night time. I don’t want to look like a moron
after all. However, if you’re anything like I am, you don’t have $300,000 to
waste on a watch that doesn’t tell you the time. So like a Japanese man in an
innovation contest, I invented something much more efficient, cheap and all
round better for the world. It’s called the sky, and it works in junction with
the other invention I made, called the neck. What one does is, they crane their
necks upwards towards the “sky” and take note the appearance. If it is dark and
littered with what I call Sky Time-Associated Rays (stars) and a Morbidly Obese
Orbed Nightlight (Moon), then it is night time. If the sky is blue and contains
my patented Super Ultra N-wordthatmeanslight (or has rain bearing Colored Layers
Of Useful Dispensers (Clouds)) then it is day time. I know, I’ve done you
all a pretty damn awesome service and saved you all from a consumerist life
where you’d pay $300,000 chunk of shit watch that tells one if it’s day or
night.
Question, what sort of fucking circumstance could you not be able to see if it
was day or night AND keep that watch? Morons.
Link to the watch itself
139 people expected a comment related to the article, but were dissapointed. Ha ha ha fuckers..
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