Maddy Dave
Owners of the universe

Click here to contact my vomit.  

I’ll bet you’re all looking at this page and thinking “what the fuck are you doing Maddy?” but there’s a reason why it’s yellow with dark red fonts.
See, for new years, I was going to go see someone, but was unable to do so. So I went to my mother’s place (for lack of anywhere else to go) and just hung there for a little while. It turned out to be a pretty goddamn boring for a new years eve party. What did I do? I hung with four people and celebrated new years. How boring. I could have shat out more entertaining nights than that. After everyone went to bed at 12:30, I decided I might as well start the new year with a bang, so I went to the freezer where I had my vodka stored and I removed it. At first, I poured one shot, cold and oily from the partial freeze, and skulled it. It wasn’t bad, so I skulled the whole bottle.
Here is where you, the judgmental asshole gentle reader, gets an opportunity to laugh at me or call me a fool. What an unwise act skulling half a litre of vodka was. To say the least anyway.
I’ll draw up a timeline for you.

01/01/08
12:30 am: I skull the vodka.
12:31 am: I stop shuddering.
1:00 am: I say out loud “Is that all you got?” to the vodka.
1:30 am: I say out loud “Ish da’ aw yewww gawt?” to the vodka.
2:00 am: I say “Oh shit, ders mo’ on its way.”
2:30 am: I go to bed and use MSN from my phone like complete retard.
2:35 am: I stop slurring my words and spelling everything poorly and roll off bed.
2:40 am: I get up and bounce off the walls till I’m at the toilet.
2:41 – 2:50 am: I throw up.
2:50 am: I go to bed.
2:52 am: I go back to the toilet.
2:55 am: I have my last memory, of my vomit in the toilet and it was the same colour as this page’s layout.

There you have it, vodka is now officially banned like wild turkey. Oh god, just thinking of vodka makes me sick. I’ve thrown up just writing it.
Enjoy my vomit coloured page.
Kbye.