Blue clues can take a
hike.
Has
anyone noticed how pathetic kid’s shows are these days? Seriously, what the
hell is with them? Back when I was a kid, the dialogue between characters was
rarely aimed at the person watching and they didn’t speak like lobotomy victims
(a lobotomy is a procedure where a part of your brain is removed, for those who
have gone through the procedure.).
“HEWWO
WIDDLE KIDDIES! ARE YOU READY TO PWAY A WIDDLE GAME?!”
How’s this for a game, I’ll shove a bottle rocket up your ass and light
it. The kids would love that.
Every time someone talks to a kid like a fuckwit, the kid misbehaves. IE,
“Timmy, pwease don’t shoot mummy with the pwetty shotgun!”.
Next thing you know, dumb bitch mummy has a hole in her chest and a laughing
kid at her feet.
Children aren’t fucking idiots, and we shouldn’t speak to them like they are. I
hate shows that do that. It’s like they expect the child to have been born
stupid.
I mean, do children really need to be taught how to speak like a shithead?
Blue's clues host handing out more bullshit
Here is what I
reckon a good dialogue between characters on a kiddy show would be.
Host: Hey there
Big Bear, why you looking down?
Big Bear:
Coz I have AIDS sir. It’s a drag. I have 3 weeks left to live.
Host:
Wow… I guess that means you should refrain from sleeping with everyone.
Big Bear:
Don’t forget the drugs. Now I’m going to die. Might as well live it up.
Host:
What are you going to do?
Big Bear:
I’m going to go and have some freaky interspecies sex with some human bitches.
(The host
punches the bear in the nuts)
Host: HEY
ASSHOLE, WE DON’T FUCKING SWEAR ON THIS SHOW! GOT IT!??! GET THE FUCK OUTTA
HERE YOU AIDS RIDDEN PRICK!
(The host
continues to beat the bear up)
Big Bear:
OK OK I’LL NEVER SWEAR AGAIN OH GOD PLEASE STOP!!
(The host
continues to beat the bear up and drops a gun next to him)
Host:
HE’S GOT A GUN! GET HIM!!!
Narrator:
Want to avoid this scene kids? Don’t do drugs or swear or have lots of
unprotected sex.
That would be perfect. Think about it. It would scare the kids into obedient
submission.
The whole scene depicts life knowledge. If you do drugs you’ll get disease. If
you have unprotected sex, you’re going to die.
If you swear, you’re going to get the
shit kicked out
of you. And the whole scene with the adding the gun? Well, the bear was a black
bear, and the host is from Mississippi.
Poor thing. Someone should go n giv dat nigga's hizzle some greenz ya'll.
Blues clues giving an
anatomy lesson
Copyright © Maddy Dave
97 people have had a lobotomy.
Back to blissBlue clues can take a hike.
Has
anyone noticed how pathetic kid’s shows are these days? Seriously, what the
hell is with them? Back when I was a kid, the dialogue between characters was
rarely aimed at the person watching and they didn’t speak like lobotomy victims
(a lobotomy is a procedure where a part of your brain is removed, for those who
have gone through the procedure.).
“HEWWO
WIDDLE KIDDIES! ARE YOU READY TO PWAY A WIDDLE GAME?!”
How’s this for a game, I’ll shove a bottle rocket up your ass and light
it. The kids would love that.
Every time someone talks to a kid like a fuckwit, the kid misbehaves. IE,
“Timmy, pwease don’t shoot mummy with the pwetty shotgun!”.
Next thing you know, dumb bitch mummy has a hole in her chest and a laughing
kid at her feet.
Children aren’t fucking idiots, and we shouldn’t speak to them like they are. I
hate shows that do that. It’s like they expect the child to have been born
stupid.
I mean, do children really need to be taught how to speak like a shithead?
Big Bear: Coz I have AIDS sir. It’s a drag. I have 3 weeks left to live.
Host: Wow… I guess that means you should refrain from sleeping with everyone.
Big Bear: Don’t forget the drugs. Now I’m going to die. Might as well live it up.
Host: What are you going to do?
Big Bear: I’m going to go and have some freaky interspecies sex with some human bitches.
(The host punches the bear in the nuts)
Host: HEY ASSHOLE, WE DON’T FUCKING SWEAR ON THIS SHOW! GOT IT!??! GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE YOU AIDS RIDDEN PRICK!
(The host continues to beat the bear up)
Big Bear: OK OK I’LL NEVER SWEAR AGAIN OH GOD PLEASE STOP!!
(The host continues to beat the bear up and drops a gun next to him)
Host: HE’S GOT A GUN! GET HIM!!!
Narrator: Want to avoid this scene kids? Don’t do drugs or swear or have lots of unprotected sex.
That would be perfect. Think about it. It would scare the kids into obedient submission.
The whole scene depicts life knowledge. If you do drugs you’ll get disease. If you have unprotected sex, you’re going to die.
If you swear, you’re going to get the shit kicked out of you. And the whole scene with the adding the gun? Well, the bear was a black bear, and the host is from Mississippi. Poor thing. Someone should go n giv dat nigga's hizzle some greenz ya'll.