Maddy Dave
Owners of the universe

A winrar is you.  

You have won a waste of time.

Don't you just feel all fuzzy wuzzy inside when some flashing pop up or Indian telemarketer tells you you've won a holiday to anywhere in the world? Then don't you feel like a murderous ball of hate when the fine print says “*for only $270 000 000”? Yeah. It's pretty obvious when these things tell you 'you've won' you haven't really 'won' anything except a ticket to scams-ville. Population: you.
To help you distinguish whether or not you have actually been offered a million dollar cash prize I have put together this easy to read flow chart:
 

For those who cannot find their option in this chart:

YOU LOSE YOU SELF RIGHTEOUS COCK!

Let me quote a conversation I had with a telemarketer:

Me: Hello?
Indian: Hello Ms Hawkes! (not my name btw) We are calling to inform you that you have been selected to participate in.....

I kinda pulled the receiver away from my ear and stared at it for a sec here....

Indian: ...... and it is all relatively free of charge! Doesn't that sound fantastic?
Me: um, yeah. How old do I have to be for this?
Indian: How old are you?
Me: 15 (lie. But they can't sell me stuff if I'm too young)
Indian: Oh. Is your mother home?
Me: No
Indian: Is anyone home?
Me: No
Indian: When will they be home?
Me: I don't know.
Indian: Oh I see........ so, what do you like doing in your free time?
Me: Wait, what, huh? Free time? Uhhh, read comics?
Indian: Ohhh, comics, I see, what's your favorite comic?
Me: Shaman King. Why?
Indian: No reason, no reason. So you're 15 are you?
Me: Yeah, sure.
Indian: Do you ever have feelings?
Me: Huh? Feelings? Yeah, I'm not a robot
Indian: No no, I mean..... feelings..... feeling for sex.

Then I looked at the receiver again and hung up.

If anyone can explain this pedophilia to me, it would be greatly appreciated. Not only did this guy try to persuade me that whatever he was selling was 'relatively free of charge', he tried to proposition me for sex. Wow, just wow. This guys certainly has a lot to offer, I feel privileged that I 'have been selected' to be called to make it look like the guy is doing a job! At the end of the day, that's all you win. You win some poor bastard a job. I should be satisfied, but I'm not, because people obviously buy into this ass-rape, and in the end, I feel more pity for those morons than the knobs who can't get a real job. Don't get me wrong, both are idiots, but at least one is making a living from spamming out emails, while the other is just a pile of idiocy. What a sad world this is.