Maddy Dave
Owners of the universe

I'm so not funny.  

I wish I was as funny as Thilo but I’m not. I’m about as funny as lung cancer. Well, that’s not fair coz lung cancer is pretty funny. Still, I’m not funny enough. Hell, I’d even settle for bobsmash funny, but Christ even that’s above me. Oh god even the nonz is above me. I’m so inferior, because who isn’t funnier than the nonz? Even my turds say “Man, I’d rather read the nonz than be up his boring ass.” I need more funny shit. From now on, I’m going to wank more, scream less and bitch at the kids for being on my lawn. Cynicism is the shit. Who doesn’t get turned on by some crusty old 90 year old with a hunch back screaming “Get off my lawn you kids, why back in my day we ramble ramble blah blah something about 20 mile hikes in the snow to get some place to perform some laborious chore”. There’s this forum I’m on called Rantlister. It’s pretty shitty, but hey even those who rant need a place to hang out. People there are funny, every single one of them are funnier than me. I’ll probably get flamed or kicked for putting this up, but I can’t deny this anymore. This sucks. I can’t write funny shit. All I can do is bitch and moan and nag and give people ammunition to take me down with. I’d give up my incredibly awesome skills in pleasing women and getting laid just to be able to write like those guys, who clearly gave up their opportunity at getting laid with style for said ability. That phatweb guy even gave up everything that a normal person would have for social interaction to be able to write the most amazing stuff about how he hates black people. Man I wish I could be like these guys. They lick kick so much ass.
Then again, that Matt Phippen guy isn’t too good. He clearly kept some of his social skills. Same with Bobsmash.
Christ, I lost the way this plot was supposed to go.
Oh well, Thilo kicks so much ass that even Maddox can’t compete. People who worship Maddox and bitch at Thilo for copying him are only pissed at the fact that Thilo’s better than Maddox. And better than me too.
Dave and Richy fucking pwn everyone else though. Those cunts make even the great fatweb look like a team killing fucktard.
Oh who am I kidding, I fucking own everyone with Dave and Richy. Man, no one can even hold a fucking candle in comparison to my brilliance that beams down on you all. I fucking own. Kiss my spectacularly awesome ass.
Oh yeah, hell caster or whatever he calls himself is a cock jock. Hell, even in my "You're all better than me" speech I'd say that. Everyone's fucking better than hell caster.
God... I clearly have too much time on my hands.