People should have to earn licenses to be allowed speak.
Man I hate
people. Especially people who refuse to speak their mother tongue properly. I
was accosted by someone for using the word bypass, it was used in the sentence
"I believe you could bypass that error if you..." and I didn't get to finish
because the asshole I was talking to decided that they wanted to open their
wheeze hole and point out in the voice of a chain smoking deep throat porn star
that I should stop using big words.
I asked what word was "big" and he said "Bypass man, what the hell is that?"
I'm not a smoker, but I wish I was just so I could put a cigarette out in his
eye for his ineptitude.
How the hell is "bypass" a "big" word? That would mean that any word that is
more than 6 letters long must be a "big word". There are so many assholes out
there who would adhere to this kind of thinking. Transmogrification,
Expediential, Unostentatious, Antidisestablishmentarianisms,
supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanokoniosis, these are all "big" words. But
even then I wouldn't label them big, rather long. (Note, all bar
pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanokoniosis was spelled correctly the first
time. Spelling for Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanokoniosis was found using
google.)
What really boils my blood is when people call me "posh" or "upper class"
because of my extended vocabulary. Just because I can shit on your face from a
articulate pedestal which towers above you doesn't mean that I'm "posh" or "upper class". It just means that I read books. Lots of them. I'm not posh. If I
was posh, I would be living in some upper class suburb and wearing brand name
clothes and would be clean and rich.
But as it turns out, I live in a shit hole in which land value could increase if
a nuclear reactor blew up and left years and years of radioactive fallout, I
don't wear clothes, let alone brand name clothes, and I'm poor and smelly. Far
from posh.
In fact, let me list things that people would assume make me posh and yet mean
jack to the term.
I listen to classical music and love it, I'm a poetry, I'm more for spirits than
beer and I hate children. Doesn't make me posh though. Hell I'm not even using a
computer. This is a... box with a keyboard printed on it.
I digress.
The point of this article was not how many shots of whisky I had whilst I wrote
it, but how bullshit it is that people would refer to the word "bypass" as a "big" word. Need I pull out the Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanokoniosis
stick again?
One issue I didn't touch was that I was called upper class. How does one define
upper class? Me, from my poor (but better articulated than you) view, an upper
class person is an asshole.
I guess I am upper class, but I'm the good kind of upper class. Not the type
that spews shit from it's mouth.
Seriously, start learning how to speak your goddamn mother tongue. Don't make English hard enough to learn without you assholes making it worse. Christ almighty, have you heard some of those English people speak? Sorry, I mean, have you heard some of those English cockney assholes chew up a language and spit it out? It's like listening to a donkey have a seizure.
By the way, to all those who use the term "big words"...
pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis 45
tetramethyldiaminobenzhydrylphosphinous 39
dimethylamidophenyldimethylpyrazolone 37
formaldehydetetramethylamidofluorimum 37
butylaminobenzyldimethylaminoethanol 36
cholangiocholecystocholedochectomy 34
methylenedioxyphenylisopropylamine 34
supercalifragilisticexpialidocious 34
dichlorobenzyltributylphosphonium 33
diethylsulphonemethylethylmethane 33
supercalafajalistickespeealadojus 33
conjunctivodacryocystorhinostomy 32
tetrachlorotetrabromofluorescein 32
dichlorodiphenyltrichloroethane 31
phenyldiethylhydrazoniumbromide 31
dimethylcyclopropanecarboxylic 30
pseudopseudohypoparathyroidism 30
tetrahydroparamethoxyquinoline 30
tetramethyldiaminobenzophenone 30
trinitrophenylmethylnitramines 30
allylisopropylacetylcarbamide 29
aminobenzenesulphonylthiazole 29
dichlorotetrabromofluorescein 29
diethylenetriaminepentaacetic 29
floccinaucinihilipilification 29
methylenedioxymethamphetamine 29
tetrachlorodibenzoparadioxine 29
tetraethyldiaminobenzophenone 29
triethylsulphonemethylmethane 29
tetraacetylgalactoseptanoses 29
tetrachlorodibenzoparadioxin 29
trifluoromethylphenothiazine 29
trinitrophenylnitraminoethyl 29
ammoniumperoxocobalticobalte 28
antidisestablishmentarianism 28
camphoformeneaminecarboxylic 28
counterimmunoelectrophoresis 28
electrophotomicrographically 28
esophagojejunogastrostomosis 28
hepaticocholangiogastrostomy 28
hydroxypyrrolidinecarboxylic 28
hysterosalpingoloophorectomy 28
monogalactosyldiacylglycerol 28
octamethylcyclotetrasiloxane 28
octamethylpyrophosphoramides 28
phenethylformaminyliminourea 28
phenoxyacetamidopenicillanic 28
prostatoseminalvesiculectomy 28
spectrophotofluorometrically 28
tetrahydrodicyclopentadiene 27
You can kiss my ass once per letter on that list.
Maddy is the inventor of English