I generally don't promote violence against women from men (Violence from other women to women is approved however) but there is one trait that a large portion of them seem to display that would easily earn a flying kick to the tits.
Quite often I am asked by the various women that I speak to "Does this [Insert clothing article] make me look fat?".
This is a double edged sword that would be useful if used in a break up situation, but often is used with utmost solemnity and a proper answer is expected. But, despite what people believe, there is seemingly no foresight capabilities for women because no matter what answer you give, it always ends the same.
They always think that they're fat. Invariably so. And to make that even better, they always blame you on their realization of it. I have yet to come up with an adequate answer. Here are some of the attempts and their concurrent reactions to the question "Does this make me look fat?"
"That doesn't make you look fat."
"YES IT DOES, YOU'RE A LIAR I'M FAT AND I HATE YOU!!!11"
That answer always results in a response like that. Either that or a kick to the face.
"If you were fat, the dress wouldn't fit."
"YOU LIAR, IT'S TIGHT AND YOU KNOW IT!"
And follow through with a kick to the face.
"Yes, you look like a fucking hippopotamus in that dress, no you make hippos look thin." (Reverse psychology...)
"YOU SON OF A BITCH!" (...Doesn't work)
Follow through with a stab to the face.
"I don't fucking care, I couldn't care less if you look fat or not."
"YOU ASSHOLE! YOU DON?T CARE IF I'M A BLIMP BUT I CARE!"
Nonchalance and not caring will result in a kick to the balls.
"..."
"YOU CAN'T SAY ANYTHING OVER MY FLABS! IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE SAYING!??!"
Follow through with a knife to the eyeballs, and you get the results of this answer. Even fucking silence gets you a stab to the face.
This is what I have to say to all you fucking insecure dipshits out there. If you think you're feeling fat, wait until the insults come. If people start yelling "Careful, the moon is in low orbit" when you're walking around, assume that you're looking fat. But if someone doesn't say anything it's not because you're fat. It's because your fugly face is scaring them to the point of repressed speech from fear.
I hope you all eat shit, get fat, and die of a heart attack.
Rant written rapidly as you can say those three words by Maddy.